


stars on my ceiling

by andromedagalaxy



Series: Philkas College Verse [1]
Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-09-30 21:42:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10172936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andromedagalaxy/pseuds/andromedagalaxy
Summary: “I’m not worried,” Philip says. “If we don’t go to the same school—”“But Iwant to,” Lukas says, his throat going tight.“But even if we don’t—”“Philip, please,” Lukas says, covering his eyes.Philip laughs a little bit, incredulously. “It’s not gonna be the end of the world, babe, nothing’s gonna happen—”“It’ll be the end of the world for me, okay?” Lukas says, a little too loud as he sits up, leaning on his elbows.





	

Philip lays next to him, and Lukas is sure he can feel the tension radiating off of him. 

“I wish you would stop worrying about it,” Philip says.

“I’m not worrying about it,” Lukas says, through his haze of fear and panic. Worry is so far down on his list that he actually feels like he’s telling the truth. He’s been ready to puke about this for months now. Since Philip got his acceptance letter. 

“I applied a lot earlier than you did,” Philip says. “That’s why your response isn’t here yet. Helen and Gabe were on me to get it out right away and I had basically decided on NYU while you were still going through your options.”

“Yeah,” Lukas says, swallowing hard. He stares up at his ceiling and hones in on the flecks of silver up there. When he was little he always used to see things in the way they’d connect, and he can vaguely remember laying here with his mom and pointing to show her _there’s you, there’s me, and there’s someone else._

 _Not Daddy?_ She’d ask.

 _No_ he’d reply. _Not up there. Just someone else. Someone I don’t know yet._

He looks down at Philip, who gives him a soft smile. “There’s plenty of time for you to hear, Lukas. And you’ve got a few different schools you’re going to hear from.”

“I want to hear from NYU,” he mutters. His heart is slamming against his chest.

“But you might hear from the others first,” Philip says, turning onto his side and wrapping an arm around Lukas’s waist. “And if you get in anywhere else you can’t just toss the letter in the trash. You need to consider everything.”

Lukas sighs, closing his eyes. He hadn’t put anything in to applying anywhere else but NYU ever since he found out Philip got in there. He’d actually stopped applying when he found out, but he didn’t tell his dad that. He knows he’s gonna get in to places. He’s even been offered scholarships, full rides at some out of state schools. But none of it really matters, and his face goes hot again. 

“Lukas?” Philip asks, leaning in closer to him. “Are you even listening to me?”

“Of course I’m listening to you, I always listen to you,” Lukas says, reaching up and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I’m not worried,” Philip says. “If we don’t go to the same school—”

“But I _want to_ ,” Lukas says, his throat going tight. 

“But even if we don’t—”

“Philip, please,” Lukas says, covering his eyes.

Philip laughs a little bit, incredulously. “It’s not gonna be the end of the world, babe, nothing’s gonna happen—”

“It’ll be the end of the world for me, okay?” Lukas says, a little too loud as he sits up, leaning on his elbows. 

Philip sits back a little bit, narrowing his eyes. “Why are you freaking out?” he asks. “It’s gonna be fine either way, I don’t know why you’re so set on going to the same school that I am—”

“Because I love you!” Lukas yells, and then the room goes quiet. His vision is shaking and his heart is hammering and he feels like he’s gonna puke any second now, but instead he keeps talking. “Because I want to be with you every step of the way from here on out. Because I hate being one room away from you, let alone being ten states away from you? No fucking way, Philip, I’m sorry. I know you think we’d be fine but _I_ wouldn’t be fine, as selfish and shitty as that sounds.” He bows his head and squeezes his eyes shut. “I picture my future with you. From here on out. Same school. I want to get an apartment together. I want to graduate together.”

He pictures other things too that he doesn’t say out loud. Watching Philip take photography jobs until he’s so popular that people are constantly hiring him to shoot their important occasions. Getting motocross sponsors for himself as the guy with a boyfriend, rushing back into the world without shame. He can see them buying a house together. Hosting Thanksgivings and Christmases for their families. Having barbecues with the neighbors and maybe he’d wear a _KISS THE COOK_ apron and Philip would kiss him in front of everyone. They’d have a dog. No, two dogs. 

He can see them growing old together. Facing everything together, from here on out. And that shit starts with fucking NYU.

Philip is still silent when Lukas opens his eyes. “I just want—I need to be with you,” Lukas says, his voice breaking a little bit. “So…yeah. I need to get into NYU.”

Philip stares at him. 

Lukas cracks a smile after a few more quiet moments pass. “You in there?” he asks, reaching over and brushing his thumb across Philip’s cheek. “You malfunctioning again?”

Philip smiles too at that, shaking his head. “You, uh—you said that—you said that you loved me.”

Lukas goes cold and clears his throat. The words have been raging behind his teeth for months now, for a lot longer than that if he’s being honest with himself. And he hates that he waited so long so say something he feels so strongly. “Yes,” he says, scooting towards him. “Because I do. I—I love you. I love you, Philip.”

Philip stares at him and Lukas can see the tears gathering in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry it took me so long to say it,” Lukas says, taking Philip’s face in his hands as he nuzzles their noses together. 

“No, no,” Philip says, clutching at Lukas’s waist. “I always knew it, but—it’s just—”

“I love you,” Lukas says again, kissing him over and over. “I love you, baby, I love you.”

Philip laughs, melting against him when Lukas draws him close. “I love you. Lukas, I’d go anywhere with you. Anywhere. We can educate ourselves in our own goddamn backyard, Lukas. We can take online classes together from the comfort of our own bed.”

“I like all this _our_ talk,” Lukas says, capturing his mouth again. They kiss for a few moments, Lukas sucking Philip’s bottom lip between both of his own, and he’s so caught up in the feel of him that he can hardly remember what they were talking about before. Only love, only them. Only Philip, the best goddamn thing that ever happened to him.

“But you’re gonna get in, babe,” Philip says, tracking his mouth down and kissing at his neck. “I know you will. I know you will.” _Because you have to_ hangs in the air. 

“I hope so,” Lukas says, a little calmer for the moment as he kisses him again.

“As soon as you do we’re going apartment hunting,” Philip whispers against his lips.

Lukas allows himself to hope, grinning so hard that they can hardly kiss through it. But they do try.


End file.
